How many Elvis impersonators does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One for the money, two for the show.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many divorcees does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. The sockets all went with the house.

How many homophones does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nun.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

How do you know a blonde likes you?

A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

Elvis Jokes More Elvis Jokes

Whoa- is that Elvis?

Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him "Elvis the pelvis"?

Because he had a brother named Enos.