What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it?

We Can't Alope

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How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

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Why cant Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he's Blind Married

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

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What do you have when life gives you melons?

Dyslexia.

What do you do if life gives you melons?

You're dyslexic.