What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What if I buried it in the yard?

me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves?

Russell.

Why did Helen Keller fire her maid?

Cuz she left the plunger in the toilet. - Jackie Martling

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

What do you call peanuts in space?

Astronuts!

What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?

An astronut.