How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog

What diagnosis did the veterinarian give to the dog with the funny walk?

The dog has cerebral pawlsy.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

What is headache ?

5 minutes talk to wife.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

What should a teacher take if he's run down?

The number of the car that hit him.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do Canadians love Syrian Refugees?

more moslem guys who can convert canadian girls to islam. What a deal!

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why is the door to heaven always open?

Because Jesus was born in a barn.

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

Where do you think you're going at this hour?

gun hangs head & turns around

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ?

Mice cubes !

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ?

Jail-birds !

Prove Jokes More Prove Jokes

How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it?

Banks

Why was the guy from 127 Hours arrested for espionage?

He was proven guilty of providing arms to Iraq

Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman and a dog?

Put them both in the trunk of your car, drive around the block, and see which ones happy to see you afterwards.

Why are Trees never invited to a formal dinner ?

They only wear Trunks.