What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

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Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven?

Peter. He can deny Jesus three times.

What do you call a deaf chick in bed?

Anything you want

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What gets bigger every time I watch my neighbor undress in her bedroom window?

The restraining order

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

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How much for this melted ghost?

Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys

What do you call a ghost that stays out all night?

Afresh air freak.

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What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!