What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Seriously who knows? It's pitch black in here.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

What do you get when astronomers play tic-tac-toe?

Exoplanets Thought that one up myself.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

How much do you bench?

Me: Way less than I couch.

Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch?

He had no attachments.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What did the necropheliac say to her boyfriend?

Did rigor mortis just set in, or are you just happy to see me Edit: I'm an idiot

Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?

He was a boar.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

What did one teddy bear say to the other teddy bear when he offered him some dessert?

A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

Why do white men shop at black yard sales?

To get all their stuff back.

Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Whats George Zimmerman's favorite song?

Blame it on the night

Chic Pea Jokes More Chic Pea Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

What's the difference between a chic pea and a garbanzo bean?

Iv never had a garbanzo bean on my face.