What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

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What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

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How do you make a chicken salad?

Make a salad and give it to a chicken.

What should I wear?

Mr. Salad asks. She replies, "It doesn't matter to me, just be well dressed."

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What do you call a lesbian with huge thumbs?

Well-endowed. http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/3628/ellenplaidshirt022ex9.jpg

How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

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What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in?

A: Learning from your mistakes.

How do you teach your dog to roll over ?

Put him on fire.