What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

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What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

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Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

What is the least pleasant state to live in?

Missouri.

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What kind of fish is made of just two atoms?

2 Na

What kind of a car does a crazy man drive?

A LOCOmotive.