What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you tell when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jacksons house?

When the big hand touches the little hand

How do you get a 300 pound woman into bed?

piece of cake

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How long have you felt like this?

Ever since I was a puppy!

How do introverts feel within society?

removed

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Cause they don't have balls to scratch

Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?

Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

What did the blind man say to his estranged friend?

Long time, no see."

How old is your Grandma?

I dunno but we've had him a long time.