What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Women's cross country team and midget geniuses?

The midget geniuses are cunning runts.

What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a coconut?

Coconuts have hair

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch?

He had no attachments.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

How are a grenade and a wife similar?

If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone

How are Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad the same?

They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.