Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats long, green, and smells like pork?

Kermits finger

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a black man?

A dead baby can feed a family of four

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why should you attend someone's funeral although you know they won't be attend yours back?

Because they will be at your funeral in spirit

Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing a girl can wear to bed?

A condom

What's the worst thing that could happen?

If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?

Mourning Wood

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

You have served your porpoise.

Honor Jokes More Honor Jokes

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving?

The Redskins

Guest Jokes More Guest Jokes

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!