Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

What pdf reader do Jedis use?

The Adobe-Wan Kenobi Reader

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Why did Newton's wife got pregnant?

Because he doesn't believe in using quantum

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

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Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

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Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

How do the Sith ascend?

Elevaders

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What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut