Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

What did Richard Nixon say after he tried to make dinner at the White House for the first time?

I am not a cook

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What kind of pizza did the Dalai Lama order?

one with everything

What's the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and an Art History degree?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

What's "saying grace?

Me: It's when we thank the one who provided our food. 4-year-old: We thank the microwave

What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?

Microwaves!

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

What's the first thing a Navy wife does when she wakes up in the morning?

She puts her clothes back on and goes home.

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!