Why was the cop absent from work?

He had swine flu

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do you want to work in a bank Alan?

Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir.

What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a homeless man who works at McDonalds?

One of those greasy bums is making a lot more money.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

Why aren't you allowed to smile when taking your driver IDs?

Because you won't be smiling when the cops pull you over.

Why did the cop climb the tree?

He worked for a special branch.

Swine Flu Jokes More Swine Flu Jokes

What do you call a pig that took a plane?

Swine flu!

What's the difference between Swine flu, and Bird flu?

one requires 'oinkment' and the other needs 'tweetment'. i'm sorry.