Subway Jokes

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

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What do me and Subway have in common?

12 inches

How are strippers and Subway workers similar?

They'll both lie and tell you it's a footlong to get paid.

How do you fit an elephant in to a subway?

Take the 's' out of "sub" and the 'f' out of "way"

What do Santa and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kids rooms with an empty sack

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

How did Jared from Subway get food poisoning?

He ate a 5 year old weiner

What's Jared from Subway's favorite chord?

A flat minor

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.

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What's worse than a Jimmy John's full of dead babies?

A Subway full of live ones.

Where did Josh Duggar take his first Ashley Madison date?

Subway

This joke may have profanity.

What's Jared's favorite ingredient for his Subway sandwiches?

Extra virgin oil

What's the best part about Subway sandwiches?

the tiny little buns

Why did Subway take Jared so seriously?

It was obvious he was kidding.

Why did the horny girl go to Subway?

For a $5 footlong.

This joke may have profanity.

How do you fit an elephant in the subway?

You take the letter "S" out of "sub", and the letter "F" out of "way".

What should you do if you get an erection on the subway?

Get off at the next stop!

What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?

A metro-gnome

What do you call a barking dog riding the subway?

a sub-woofer!!!

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How do you get a full grown elephant on to the subway?

You take the "S" out of "Sub", and then you take the "F" out of "Way".

What is a zombie's favorite restaurant?

Subway: East flesh!

How would you order a Subway footlong in metric countries where they don't have feet?

By crawling to the counter " GET OUT

What happens when you mix Jared from Subway and Bill Cosby?

I don't know; It was too long ago, and I can't remember.

What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common?

They both prefer to be called "artists" instead of what they really are.

What do you call the people who make sandwiches at Subway?

Sub humans.

Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"?

Even art majors deserve recognition

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?

Missile Toe!

Why did Jared from Subway call Boyz2Men?

He thought they had delivery service.

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Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?

Because she refused to make a sandwich

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What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

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Why did the sauce need a night light?

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What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

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What's black on the bottom and white on top?

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.

What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.