Weekend Jokes

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president?

Weekend at Bernie's.

The Book Of Terribly Awesome Dad Jokes

Paperback

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Why do pessimists always think it's the weekend?

Because every day is a sadder-day.

Where do Muslims go on a weekend?

To Mecca Bingo.

What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends?

Hang at home.

What did you do on the weekend?

ME: I baked CW: Nice. What did you bake ME: Me

What do computer experts do at weekends?

Go for a disk drive.

Where do angles go for fun on the weekends?

To watch movies in the THETA

What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?

No new messages.

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

Paperback

What do vegetables that go to college do on the weekends?

They Turnip

How JokeExplainBot spent his weekend?

Explaining his wife.