How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy?

Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke.

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How much do you bench?

Me: Way less than I couch.

Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?

Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do Russians love pho?

Because they're SO-VIET

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How do you keep a blonde busy for years?

Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Thee Jokes More Thee Jokes

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways... Five.

What did Hamlet say to his cat?

Get thee to a nyanery!