What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What's the difference between an archeologists convention and a basketball team?

The archeologists convention is a nerdy bunch of diggers.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a bunch of black children playing in a pile of leaves?

raisin bran

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

Tv Remote Jokes More Tv Remote Jokes

Where did all the TV remotes go when you can't find them?

To a remote island...

What do Libyan people put in their TV remotes?

Tripoli batteries.

Newborn Jokes More Newborn Jokes

What shatters faster than your smartphone screen?

A newborn with osteoporosis.

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

About 16 seconds

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?

my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome

Why do artists never win when they play football ?

They keep drawing !

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."