Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*"

What do you call it when your wife brings you rice porridge in prison?

Congee-gal visit

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

one's really heavy and the others a little lighter!

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How can you tell if someone is from New York?

They always talk about how they're from New York.

Why can't two jealous people talk on the phone together?

It is always an insecure line!

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

Suffocate Jokes More Suffocate Jokes

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.

Stupid Question Jokes More Stupid Question Jokes

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Change it to what

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!