Where is the lift?

American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language.

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Which American President was least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What do you call an elevator full of white people?

A box of crackers.

What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How many words can you type a minute?

ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean ME: Well, like for example, pickle

Whatya doin?

Me: I fixed the toilet so I'm adding Potty Fixer to my resume W: You mean Plumber M: DO I LOOK LIKE A HOUSE SCIENTIST

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do birds speak ?

Pigeon English !

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?

Q: What do you call someone who speaks two languages? A: Bilingual Q: What do you call someone who speaks three or more languages? A: Multilingual Q: What do you call someone who speaks one language? A: American

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's an English teacher's favourite cereal?

Synonym Grahams

What do the English use to blow up their enemies?

Tea N' Tea.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How did the Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.