Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?

She sings with the other hand.

Why did the hipster burn himself?

Because he played with fire before it was cool.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

What do Twitter drama and football have in common?

They are both interesting to watch.

Why do artists never win when they play football ?

They keep drawing !

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.