Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What happens when a feminist and a sociopath date?

I need a punchline for a joke.....What happens when a feminist and a sociopath date? OK GO!

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

End Jokes More End Jokes

How do you end a prayer to the Noodle God?

Ramen.

What made you leave it?

well, the movie ended so

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

What do you call the angel in charge of hydroelectrics?

A God dam engineer.

Why does no-one use the rhinos ATM?

Because he charges!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.

Battery Jokes More Battery Jokes

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Cellphone Jokes More Cellphone Jokes

How are children like cellphones?

If youve lost one and havent found it in a couple days, chances are its probably dead.

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

Why are burglars such good tennis players ?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"