Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

Why was the little boy speaking gibberish?

Because he lost his marbles.

What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish?

A Si-gull

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the cyclops close his school?

Because he only had one pupil! The joke is that I have no friends

How do you know if a hippo is in your oven?

The door won't close

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why'd the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?

Because he drank it before it was cool.

Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder?

A: So he could shoot his mouth off.

Side Jokes More Side Jokes

How does one sink, that which floats?

How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.

Why did the chicken double-cross the road?

To change sides.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

What do diapers and politicians have in common?

They both need to be changed after a while for the same reason

Ventriloquist Jokes More Ventriloquist Jokes

What did the ventriloquist say to their friend?

Nothing. He's mute. I don't even think he's as ventriloquist.

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

By becoming a ventriloquist!