3rd Jokes

Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil?

The pencil is better. It has a point.

Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Gift for All Ages! (World's Best Dad Jokes Collection)

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Who placed 3rd for basketball in the 2016 Olympics?

LeBronze James

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point? 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

Why did Michael Jackson love Beethoven's 3rd symphony?

It was done in A minor.

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

What do they call traffic laws in 3rd world countries?

Guidelines

Why doesn't Gabe Newell have kids?

He can't get to 3rd base

Where were u on the night of the 3rd?

Stabbing a homeless man. "Louder for the tape " Wrapping a boneless ham. As a gift.

How many 3rd wave feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Whats the point 3rd wave feminists can't take a joke anyway.

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

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Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night?

Piratechnics!

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

' Jokes More ' Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

Shave Jokes More Shave Jokes

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many protesters does it take to change a lightbulb?

TRICK QUESTION. THEY CAN'T CHANGE ANYTHING**

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Please help. There are ten so far and they have invited their gross friends to our home. They are using the broken lightbulb to smoke crack off of.

2nd Jokes More 2nd Jokes

Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

Ben Ching.

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What did the homeless man get for christmas?

Nothing

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

1st Jokes More 1st Jokes

How does John Marston take a shower?

1st he gets nice and wet, then he dies of drowning

Whats the different between falling from the 10th floor and falling from the 1st floor ?

The sound you make 10th floor " AHHHHHHHHH " 1st floor " AHHHHHHHHHH "