2nd Jokes

  • What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at?


  • Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?

    Because there’s a Shortstop in between!

  • Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time?

    Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.

  • How often do you floss?

    Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

  • What is the difference between a man falling from a 2nd floor and a man falling from an 8th floor?

    That the man that falls from the 2nd floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH While the man falling from the 8th floor does: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

  • What do you call a 2nd grader with no friends?

    A Sandyhook survivor...................im so sorry.

  • Why do the republicans defend the 2nd amendment so hard?

    They need it to shoot themselves in the foot.

  • What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

    2nd base.

  • What is that son of yours doing these days ?

    2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!

  • What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor?

    The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)

  • What is the definition of a minor 2nd chord?

    Two flutists playing in unison.

  • What is the time ?

    2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !

  • What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder?

    Ben Ching.