Clean Jokes

  • What does the aquarium janitor use to clean?

    She uses all-porpoise cleaner!

  • What do you call someone who is iffy about cleaning lawn games?

    A wishy-washy Washer washer.

  • What did the computer technician say to the woman about her virus infected laptop?

    Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"

  • How does a vampire clean his house?

    With a victim cleaner.

  • When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

    WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.

  • How many Swedes does it take to clean a men's bathroom?

    None because they pee sitting down.

  • How do you clean a spear?

    Put it through the Wash.

  • Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon?

    It doesn't need cleaning

  • What do you call three witches in a hot tub?

    A self-cleaning coven.

  • What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling?

    He likes it dirty.

  • What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

    If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

  • What do the janitors clean the Reddit office with?


  • When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

    This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

  • Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?

    It doesn't need cleaning.

  • Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

    She was running out of things to read.

  • What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia's hotel rooms?

    A maid man.

  • What does a sailor use to clean his clothes?


  • Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place?

    Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it

  • Why roboticize vacuuming?

    It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning.

  • What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?

    Bawdy wash.

  • How many bruthas does it take to clean a kitchen?

    None, that's women's work!

  • Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

    Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

  • Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

    Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

  • How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?

    It's smoking a cigarette.

  • Why should you hire a drag queen to help clean your garage?

    They know how to tuck away junk.

  • What do communists clean first when they do their laundry?

    Their Linens

  • Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?

    Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them

  • Why haven't Women landed on the Moon?

    Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!

  • Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears?

    The cue tip.

  • What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?

    Get a broom.

  • How'd family dinner go?

    ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

  • How do Reavers clean their spears?

    They send them through the Wash.

  • Why does Jerry Sienfeld clean up on tinder?

    He can't go left

  • Where's my cell?

    Right there." That's not my phone. "Yes it is. I cleaned it!" My cell's white

  • What do you call a man who cleans your house?


  • What do maids in Manhattan use to clean their kitchens?

    J-lo Cloths

  • What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

    Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."

  • How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub?

    100. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is.

  • Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?

    To prevent bat breath!

  • Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?

    Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof

  • Why hasn't there been a woman on the moon yet?

    it doesn't need cleaned.

  • What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

    They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

  • What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

    I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

  • What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?

    He cleaned it!

  • What do you call someone who cleans vacuums?

    A vacuum cleaner.

  • Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?

    He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.

  • Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon?

    It don't need cleaning!

  • How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

    100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

  • How does Kris Kringle clean his hands?


  • How much does it cost to clean up Germany?

    About 6 million.

  • What do you call a man who cleans out toilets ?

    Lou !

  • What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?

    No Peking!

  • How messy is your closet Joe?

    You have been in your closet for an entire month cleaning it!"

  • Who do you call to clean up foul language?

    A cuss-todian!

  • Where do I start cleaning!?

    5mins later* Me: I need a new room.

  • Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?

    Because he cleaned out the vault.

  • Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job?

    What's so glamorous about cleaning up after horses

  • What do you call a Serbian who won't clean his room?


  • Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?

    I put soap and water in there every day...

  • What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore?

    Because that I totally get.

  • How does a Reaver clean his spear?

    He puts it in the Wash.

  • When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ?


  • Which service do you require?

    Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.

  • How does Google clean their facilities?

    They use Google Mops.

  • Where'd you get those shoes?

    Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies