Clean Jokes
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What does the aquarium janitor use to clean?
She uses all-porpoise cleaner!
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What do you call someone who is iffy about cleaning lawn games?
A wishy-washy Washer washer.
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What did the computer technician say to the woman about her virus infected laptop?
Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"
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How does a vampire clean his house?
With a victim cleaner.
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When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?
WIFE : I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE : I use your toothbrush.
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How many Swedes does it take to clean a men's bathroom?
None because they pee sitting down.
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How do you clean a spear?
Put it through the Wash.
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Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning
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What do you call three witches in a hot tub?
A self-cleaning coven.
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What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling?
He likes it dirty.
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What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?
If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.
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What do the janitors clean the Reddit office with?
Derpentine.
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When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?
This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.
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Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?
It doesn't need cleaning.
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Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?
She was running out of things to read.
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What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia's hotel rooms?
A maid man.
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What does a sailor use to clean his clothes?
Tide
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Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place?
Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it
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Why roboticize vacuuming?
It's all instant gratification. It's the crack of cleaning.
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What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke?
Bawdy wash.
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How many bruthas does it take to clean a kitchen?
None, that's women's work!
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Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?
Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it
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Why does she keep cleaning the floors?
Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.
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How do you know when a cat's done cleaning itself?
It's smoking a cigarette.
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Why should you hire a drag queen to help clean your garage?
They know how to tuck away junk.
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What do communists clean first when they do their laundry?
Their Linens
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Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?
Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them
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Why haven't Women landed on the Moon?
Because it doesn't need cleaning yet!
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Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears?
The cue tip.
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What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public?
Get a broom.
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How'd family dinner go?
ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.
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How do Reavers clean their spears?
They send them through the Wash.
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Why does Jerry Sienfeld clean up on tinder?
He can't go left
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Where's my cell?
Right there." That's not my phone. "Yes it is. I cleaned it!" My cell's white
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What do you call a man who cleans your house?
Dustin.
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What do maids in Manhattan use to clean their kitchens?
J-lo Cloths
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What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?
Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."
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How many dub-step artists does it take to clean a bathtub?
100. One to actually clean it, and 99 to talk about how dirty it is.
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Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath!
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Why do Mexican students act like they own the school?
Because there mom cleans it and there dad fixed the roof
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Why hasn't there been a woman on the moon yet?
it doesn't need cleaned.
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What does cats and festival attendees have in common?
They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.
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What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?
I've cleaned up and found Jesus.
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What did the Gorilla do when he saw the sign 'Clean Washroom'?
He cleaned it!
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What do you call someone who cleans vacuums?
A vacuum cleaner.
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Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant?
He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it.
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Why is it NASA has never sent a woman to the moon?
It don't need cleaning!
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How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?
100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.
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How does Kris Kringle clean his hands?
Santatizer
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How much does it cost to clean up Germany?
About 6 million.
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What do you call a man who cleans out toilets ?
Lou !
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What did the Chinaman cleaning the rotisserie say to the crestfallen window shopper?
No Peking!
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How messy is your closet Joe?
You have been in your closet for an entire month cleaning it!"
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Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
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Where do I start cleaning!?
5mins later* Me: I need a new room.
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Why did the janitor get fired from the bank?
Because he cleaned out the vault.
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Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job?
What's so glamorous about cleaning up after horses
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What do you call a Serbian who won't clean his room?
Novak.
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Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub?
I put soap and water in there every day...
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What if Snow White just pretended to be asleep so she didn't have to clean up after little people anymore?
Because that I totally get.
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How does a Reaver clean his spear?
He puts it in the Wash.
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When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch ?
D
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Which service do you require?
Me: Oh! Don't mind me, I was just cleaning cake off the touch screen.
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How does Google clean their facilities?
They use Google Mops.
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Where'd you get those shoes?
Me:"I've had these for years. Is that a new grill I saw " H:"Nope just cleaned the old one" *Marriage lies