Lunch Jokes

What did Hillary have for lunch the other day?

Little Seizures

The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection (The Heirloom Edition): Over 500 Cringe-Worthy Puns and One-Liners

4.7

Hardcover

Available on

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me."

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

What is white and disturbs your lunch?

An avalanche

Why was Biggie hungry at school?

He forgot Tupac his lunch!

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch. I'll show myself out now

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea, Rex?"

How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch?

One of his fingers is clean

What did the physicist have for lunch?

Fission chips.

What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?

I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel.

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

4.9

Paperback

Available on

What did the baby seal order for lunch?

The club sandwich.

What's Sad About Lunch in Ethiopia?

There is no lunch.

What do performing bears at the circus get for lunch?

30 minutes.

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?

A: Tea Rex

What's the difference between an astronaut and a NASA intern?

One's constantly preparing for lunch.

What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening?

A cannibal

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation

What do they have for lunch at Monster School?

Human beans boiled legs pickled bunions and eyes-cream.

Why did Dracula miss lunch?

Because he didn't fancy the stake.

The Best Worst Dad Jokes: All the Puns, Quips, and Wisecracks You Need to Torment Your Kids

4.8

Kindle

Available on

Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

What Bible verse keeps every student going?

Lunch 11:35.

What is that you're having for lunch?

Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*

What type of lunch do you get at an air show?

A plain one.

What do polar bears have for lunch ?

Ice burger !

Where would you take a ghost for lunch?

Pizza Haunt!

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

When were you most satisfied at your last job?

Me: After lunch, next question.

Why did the aligator spit out his lunch?

Because it was two years old

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

4.8

Paperback

Available on

Why did the Australian pirate refuse lunch?

Because he had Somalia.

How do you explain a man birthing a baby?

Taco bell for lunch

What did the cannibal have for lunch?

Baked beings (beans).

Where to, the Caribbean or Hawaii?

Me: No, this is just my lunch.

What do elephants in the zoo get for lunch?

Half an hour, just like the rest of the animals.

Where do young cows eat lunch?

In the calf-ateria.

Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?

Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

You might also enjoy:

Rex Jokes More Rex Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea, Rex?"

Mechanic Jokes More Mechanic Jokes

What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time?

Quantum Mechanics.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's arse?

A mechanic.

Cold Shoulder Jokes More Cold Shoulder Jokes

What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

What did the cannibal get when he arrived late for dinner?

The cold shoulder!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night !

Why does ISIS only drink drip coffee?

Because they hate French Press!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?

He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

What do you call a bird who wants to have a different personality?

An alter eagle!

Avalanche Jokes More Avalanche Jokes

What is white and interferes with the meal?

An avalanche.

What is white and disturbs your lunch?

An avalanche

Little Seizure Jokes More Little Seizure Jokes

What do you call a baby pizza with epilepsy?

Little Seizures.

Where does the midget pizza chef with epilepsy work?

Little seizures

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

How did the Pianist play without fingers?

Not very well at all...

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?

The noise gave her a headache.