Mar Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

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What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

Why are there no cats on Mars?

Because there is no oxygen and they'd die from UV radiation, you idiot.

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

What was the first thing the stowaway to Mars said after he landed?

Just out of Curiosity...

What did the commander say when she realized that she had left Matt Damon on Mars?

I have left my Mark on Mars"

Who says there's no life on Mars?

Why only today they found a Beagle!

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

What do you call a David Bowie tribute band made up of astro-arachnologists?

The Spiders from Mars :(

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Why is there no life on Mars?

No WiFi...

Why can't deer get marred?

Because they can't elope

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

What do you a Mars with water?

Wars

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

Why was NASA so interested on travelling to Mars?

Because it had their Curiosity.

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Odd Jokes More Odd Jokes

What were the odds that Matt Damon made it off Mars?

Astronomical

What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

Alien Jokes More Alien Jokes

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do monks wear the same clothes every day?

Because old habits die hard.

What do you call a blonde who dies her hair brown?

A. Artificial intelligence.

Commander Jokes More Commander Jokes

Who is the commander of cheese?

Sargento

What does the commander say to the firing squad when they go camping?

Ready, aim, make the FIRE!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

Who's there ! Adore ! Adore who ?

Adore stands between us open up !

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What did Cinderella say as she was approaching the ball?

makes choking sounds*

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

Colonist Jokes More Colonist Jokes

How did King George view the colonists?

He thought they were revolting

How did Mars feel when the colonists were approaching?

Terra-fied.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What did the Mexican student write his essay about?

Life outside of prison.

What bring a dead duck back to life?

A dead bullfrog.