Month Jokes

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

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What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

What's a holocaust denier's favorite month?

July

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

What do women and werewolves have in common?

Offensive) They both go berserk once every month.

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

How long have I got?

Not long. Two, three months" casually places apple on desk "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"

Star Wars: Dad Jokes: The Best Worst Jokes and Puns from a Galaxy Far, Far Away . . . .

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How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why are YOU afraid?

Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

Why do blacks make good athletes?

They spent the first nine months of their lives dodging hangers.

How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

What an Idiot.

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

4.9

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What do you mean, ten?

Ten years Ten months Ten-" "Nine... Eight..."

When is the month when the most trees fall?

Sep-timber

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What brings you here?

14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

The letter "D" !

What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)

What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

It said 2 to 4 years on the box.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Whats the month people get most drunk in?

Febrewery

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

A: Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now?

Germany/Brasil 7-1

Why do woman make terrible truck drivers?

Because you give them one good load and it takes them nine months to deliver.

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February Jokes More February Jokes

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

How many months have 28 days in a leap year?

12 months not just february!

Solution Jokes More Solution Jokes

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ?

because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

Paper Cut Jokes More Paper Cut Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

What does Morpheus seek for paper cuts?

Neosporin.

2 4 Year Jokes More 2 4 Year Jokes

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

What's in 65 days?

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

21 Year Jokes More 21 Year Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Month Jokes

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

How long does it take for a black woman to poop?

What is Mr. T's favorite month?

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

What does a woman get every month that lasts 3-5 days?

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

How do you get a date on Tinder?

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

How many seconds are in a year?

What month was King Kong born in?

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

What's a holocaust denier's favorite month?

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

What do women and werewolves have in common?

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

How long have I got?

How long have we had that pillow?

Who is a Project Manager?

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Why are YOU afraid?

What does December have that other months dont have?

What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month?

How was your trip to Israel?

What gift do you want?

Why do blacks make good athletes?

How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month?

What do you mean, ten?

When is the month when the most trees fall?

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

What brings you here?

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?

What about Fox News?

What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

Whats the month people get most drunk in?

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now?

Why do woman make terrible truck drivers?

You might also enjoy:

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

How many months have 28 days in a leap year?

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam ?

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

What does Morpheus seek for paper cuts?

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

What's in 65 days?

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

Where is Jennifer's husband?

What do you mean he's your half son?

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

Why did the computer science student drop out?

What does /r/jokes and the iPhone vs FBI case have?