Yell Jokes

  • Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

    Because he said Punch's line.

  • What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?

    Pillow fight!

  • How do you get a sweet little old lady to say F***?

    Get another one to yell BINGO

  • What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?

    Ready or not, hair I comb!

  • How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.

  • Why does mom always yell at you?

    Me: Marriage is complicated. 4: Is it because you're stupid

  • Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon?

    Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!

  • What are you guys yelling about?

    them: YOU'RE DRIVING

  • Where do Russian Spy's live?

    In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

  • When a guy yells out, "Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?

    She yelled back, "Because I swallowed them all!"

  • What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?


  • How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

    Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

  • Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

    Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

  • How can you tell two people are married?

    Both are yelling at the same kid.

  • What lives in the sea and yells?

    A: A clam shouter.

  • How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

  • Why did the little pig hide the soap?

    He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

  • What did the mallard yell in the drive-by shooting?


  • What did the Italian bigfoot say when someone yelled, "Hey Abominable Snowman, are you ready to go?


  • How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.

  • What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

    A right a right a right!

  • What did the cannibal coach yell when his player twisted his ankle?

    Wok it off! Wok it off!

  • Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

    She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

  • What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

    Full speed ahead

  • What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play?


  • What do you yell at a Muslim striptease?

    Show me your nose!"

  • Why is there lipstick on your collar?

    she yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

  • What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

    My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

  • How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.

  • Who's in there?

    He yells He gets a reply "jean-claude van damme" All 4 of you,get out!

  • What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed?

    Oh,the humanities!

  • How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

    Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

  • Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?

    So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"

  • How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb?

    Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up pick it up!"

  • What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

    A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)

  • What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

    Run Berry, run!

  • What did Jeffery Dahmer yell when he jumped in the pool?


  • What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

    He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

  • What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?


  • Why did you stop your car get out and yell "coward" at the traffic signal?

    Motorist: The light just turned yellow.

  • How do you make Ben Carson yell?

    Watch a movie with him.

  • Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

    She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

  • What do you call it when a feminist yells so much she spits on your face?

    A femijizm

  • What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters?


  • What's the difference between Wright and Rong?

    Wright yells, "Objection!' Rong is your typical Chinese man.

  • What has four legs and yells "Hodi doh, hodi doh?

    Two black guys trying to catch an elevator.

  • What do you call a grandpa who couldn't understand why his email wanted to upload his attachment to share it?

    An old man yelling at the cloud

  • What does a flower in a race car yell?

    Petal to the nettle!

  • What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

    Underlay! Underlay!

  • Why was that guy yelling at you?

    flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign me with a mouthful of cheese samples No idea

  • Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house?

    They have to use their Endor voices.

  • How do I get to the other side of the river?

    The blonde yells back "You are on the other side!"

  • What do I do?

    Someone else yells "Call 911!" The blonde yells back "What's the number "

  • What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster?


  • What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest?


  • How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

    He yelled, "A u, fish!"

  • Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

    She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

  • How many spoiled rich girls does it take... change a light bulb?

    Just one, she yells, "DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"

  • How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two. One to do it, a second to keep yelling, "You're lookin' BIG, man!"

  • What did Mozart yell when he became a crusader?

    Amadeus Vult!

  • How do you get a little old lady to yell the F word?

    Get another little old lady to yell "Bingo!"

  • How do you frighten a Bee?

    Sneak up behind it and yell BOO BEE!

  • Why did all most of the black soldiers die in Vietnam?

    When the commander yelled "GET DOWN", they all started dancing.

  • Why are the old trees always yelling?

    They were all petrified.

  • How do you get an 80 year old woman to say f***?

    Have another 80 year old woman yell "bingo!"

  • Why can't ewoks yell in the house?

    Because they have to use their Endor voices.