How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't we wait for life on other planets to find us?

Why do we have to do all the work

Why was the composer late for work?

He missed Debussy. I'll just leave.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How many tickles... How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh?

Ten tickles

Why is it that in girls tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing?

Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burning stuff down

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do black guy's have that is twice the size of white men's, and expands upon contact with a woman?

A criminal record.

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What should I give your sister for unzipping?

Him : Um, ten bucks? Me : Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

What do you call a Sandwich with legs?

Bready Legs

Why is Flint MI famous for it's sandwiches?

They have the highest Pb : jelly ratio in the midwest!

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

What would you do if i won the lottery?

Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now.

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Walruse Jokes More Walruse Jokes

Why do walruses go to tupperware parties?

They are always looking for a tight seal.

What do walruses and tupperware have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal.