What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

What's the difference between a white bodybuilder and a black bodybuilder?

A white bodybuilder has 6 packs whereas a black bodybuilder has 2 pac

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 ho's.

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

Elf Jokes More Elf Jokes

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

What do you call an elf that's afraid of Jethro Tull?

A: 10:45

Toy Jokes More Toy Jokes

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What do you call an elf who lost all his toys?

Legolas

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

How does an idiot call for his dog?

He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

How do you separate two blind people fighting?

You just simply shout: "I'm supporting the one with the knife!"

Christmas Eve Jokes More Christmas Eve Jokes

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

Why was the milkman afraid on Christmas eve?

The ghost of Christmas Pasteurisation.

Okay Jokes More Okay Jokes

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?