Shout Jokes

What does a french truck driver shout during Bastille Day?

Have a NICE day!

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How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

How could I forget, mate?

At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: "I am a country member!" and the other said: "Oh, I remember!"

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

What is a whale's favorite song?

Shout.

Why did so many black people die in Vietnam?

Because when they shouted "GET DOWN!" they all started dancing.

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

How are the Buffalo Bills like Billy Graham?

Both of them fill a stadium with 60,000 people shouting " "

Why should you never shout at a pirate?

Because it hurts their buccaneers. (Sorry it's lame, I just made it up)

How does an idiot call for his dog?

He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts Rover.

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What it is, sweetie?

3: shouting I POOPED! "Do you know what a secret is " 3: whispering no.

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

How's my dad?

Dr:I'm afraid he's in critical condition *shout from inside room "You've never lived to up to your potential!"

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well?

She was shouting for help.

Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?

A. Because all his friends shout "GO-RILLA!"

How do you separate two blind people fighting?

You just simply shout: "I'm supporting the one with the knife!"

What do you call a Mexican guy shouting at someone?

An argumentative ese

How do you find a British person in a crowd?

1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066.

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

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What do Batman's parents shout when dinners ready?

NOTHING, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD.

How can you spot a racist in a crowd?

They're the ones shouting "Black Lives Matter!"

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?

ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone sack time!!

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opener ?

He had a bee in his suit of armour !

Who's been screwing my wife?

A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don't have enough ammo, mate!"

How do you get a Cambodian person to join you?

Just shout "Hey, Khmer!"

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

How do you make 30 senior citizens swear?

Shout "Bingo!" before them

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"

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How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend?

IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"

What's the difference between Here and There?

When you're right the whole room shouts "Here, here!" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says "There, there."

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!"

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

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Tin Jokes More Tin Jokes

What do you call a tin can that's done with High School?

A graduated cylinder!

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Remember Jokes More Remember Jokes

How do pianists remember which groceries to buy?

They use a Chopin Liszt!

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?

A: So brunettes can remember them.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?

When the color of the license plates start to change.

How do you know when a woman is about to say some thing intelligent?

She starts her sentance with "A man once told me"

Pause Jokes More Pause Jokes

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song?

Don't stop ble-eding (The pause is necessary)

Dance Jokes More Dance Jokes

What do you wear to dance the salsa?

Hot pants.

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

Soccer Player Jokes More Soccer Player Jokes

What's the difference between a WWE wrestler and a soccer player?

A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.

What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common?

Mossack Fonseca.

Cake Jokes More Cake Jokes

What do French Business Men use to ice their cakes?

Franchicing

Why was the cake lonely?

Because he was deserted by his friends

Deaf Man Jokes More Deaf Man Jokes

Why was the deaf man sighing and shaking his head in disgust when he looked over at his next door neighbour?

Because she was *airing her dirty laundry*!!!

How do you sell chicken to a deaf man?

A: HEY, YOU WANNA BUY SOME CHICKEN !!!!!!!