What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter?

Thank you for your patients.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.

How did the Romans split up their empire?

With a pair of Caesars. (Thanks )

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

Why did the updraft get pulled over?

It was speeding in a high shear zone

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the doctor go the furniture store?

Because he needed a stool sample.

When do doctors get angry?

When they run out of patients.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Whats the difference between the psychiatrists and the patients at a mental hospital?

The patients are the ones who eventually get better and get to go home.

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."