What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

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Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

How do you measure a snake?

In inches. Snakes don't have any feet.

What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?

A boar constrictor !

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What piece of bedding can also be known as a Mexican blanket?

the underlay! underlay!

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam."

Cheese Jokes More Cheese Jokes

What do you call a girl with anorexia and a yeast infection?

a quarter pounder with cheese.

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

Offer Jokes More Offer Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

How does Bill keep Gennifer Flowers away from the White House?

A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to give her a ride.