What's the second hardest thing in the morning?

Getting out of the bed!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the hipster go to bed early?

Because he sleeps before it gets cool.

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What do you call a second hand gold necklace?

Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)

What do you get when you ask a proctologist for a second opinion?

Two fingers.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning?

A: She opens the car door.

Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.