Why did the man use a pair of scissors on the rope?

The knife just wasn't cutting it.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did the shellfish win the underwater beauty pageant?

Using saxitoxin.

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What man?

The man with the power." - "What power " - "The power of Hoodoo." - "Who do " - "You do." - "Do what " - "Remind me of a man."

Why did the man get dumber after he fixed the potholes in the road?

Because he re-tarred it.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

How many Gordon Ramseys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he lets the knives do the work

What is another name for a knife?

A chopstick!

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How do you cut down a hipster tree?

A suuh dude!

What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

What's better than a pair of Emerency Medical Technicians?

A paramedic(s)!

What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?

Bell-bottoms!

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

Which wrestler do the Gorillas admire most?

Gorilla Monsoon - he knows the ropes!

Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

What does one lesbian pirate say to another lesbian pirate?

Scissor me timbers.

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs.