Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.

Why does Saudi Arabia have so much oil?

Because the women are not allowed to drive.

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Who do you call when theres a fly in your house?

The SWAT team

What's the difference between a TV and a newspaper?

Ever tried swatting a fly with a TV?

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What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink?

Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!

When does 1+1=3?

When you don't use a condom.