Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

Knock knock. Who's there? Opportunity.

That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!

Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you stop your water from running?

Stop paying the bill.

How are women and computers the same?

Neither take your 3.5 inch floppy anymore.. unless you pay extra.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How does an elephant get out of a small car ?

The same way that he got in !

What happened to the Greek dairy farmer who got robbed on his way to market?

He was un-feta-ed of his cheese.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

What Happens when you fart in church?

You sit in your own pew

Taxis Jokes More Taxis Jokes

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

A: None. The democrats do that.