Artist Jokes

  • What's the difference between an artist and a large pizza?

    A large pizza can feed a family of four.

  • What do you call an artist in a dark alley?


  • Why do artists never win when they play football ?

    They keep drawing !

  • Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

    Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

  • What do you call a artist with a rash?

    Leonardo Da Itchy

  • Why did the artist throw his eraser away?

    Because it wasn't

  • What did the artist say to the dentist?

    Matisse hurt!

  • Whats the difference between a park bench and an artist?

    A park bench can support a family of four.

  • Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

    Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

  • Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings?

    He wanted to mount an exhibit!

  • Who's the artist you find in the supermarket?

    Salvador Deli

  • How did the artist paint a picture?

    A: Easel-y.

  • Why couldn't the artist get a driver's license?

    He gave off a good Impression, but couldn't make a Van Gogh.

  • What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common?

    They both prefer to be called "artists" instead of what they really are.

  • Why did the artist go to the bakery?

    For shortening!

  • What did the artist ask Shakespeare when he was sketching his portrait?

    2B or not 2B?

  • Why do artists die early in life?

    Too many strokes.

  • Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

    They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

  • What do you call someone who discriminates against paintings?

    An artist. My 11 year son just came up with this one.

  • Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist?

    Because he was sketchy.