Brother Jokes
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What did the chemist say when he caught his brother stealing halogens?
Bro, mine
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How do I tell them apart?
Her brother has a moustache.
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What do you call DJ Khaled crossdressing as Hulk Hogan?
A "brother" one."
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How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin?
She can run faster than her brother.
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Why so glum Chum?
asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "
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What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?
Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.
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What's faster than a black man dodging cops with a TV?
His brother with the laptop.
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How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin?
See if she can run faster than her brothers.
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What's a priest on an egg called?
A brother
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Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?
They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.
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Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?
28
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What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common?
They were both fingered by their brother.
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How do pirates get their hair to stand up?
Sea-men. My brother told me that
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Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?
Because they have trans-sisters.
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What do rednecks say after they broke up?
We can still be brother and sister.
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Why don't computers have any brothers?
They are all trans-sisters.
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How many are you?
We are three. - Three - Me and my brother. - You have a brother - No why do you ask
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What do you call an Alabama woman who can run faster than her brother?
virgin
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Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him "Elvis the pelvis"?
Because he had a brother named Enos.
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Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?
Because he sleeps on a waterbed !
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What position does your brother play in the school football team ?
Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !
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What is faster than a black person with your TV ?
His brother with your DVD player.
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What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ?
A brother, because you can choose your friends.
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What's the definition of a redneck virgin?
A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers.
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What do they call a virgin down in the south?
Faster than her brother!
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Why don't robots have brothers?
Because they all have trans-sisters
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Why was the animal unhappy?
He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.
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What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him?
Heavy!"
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What two friends belonging to two different alien species call each other?
Brothers from Another Mothership.
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What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers?
A virgin.
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How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?
He used a Luigi Board.
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What does a Duggar girl and the Unabomber have in common?
They have both been fingered by their brother.
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What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?
Inzest
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What animal will you always see at a resturant?
A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.
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Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?
Because he went crackers.
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What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?
I've cleaned up and found Jesus.
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What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him?
Get off me, homes!" My brother heard this on Tosh.
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What would Mario's name be if he was born in Canada?
Sorry-o And his brother: Luig-eh?
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What do you call three brothers taking acid together?
Triplets
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Who is the brother of Juan Luna?
Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD
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Why don't robots have any brothers?
They all have transisters.
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How do you know God isn't black?
Because it's not "I is who I is" My brother is 35...
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What do you call a white girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin
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What is a Redneck virgin?
A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
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Why Cant Coffee Shops Spell Correctly?
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, Marc, with a C. Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
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What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend?
When she says she thinks of you like a brother.
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Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?
Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.
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What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?
You're my brother in arms!"
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Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?
He can never find the Loki.
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What do my brother and Julius Caesar have in common?
They both hate been stabbed
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Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?
Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !
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Where's Finnick?
Odair he is! Obligatory: My brother told this to me while watching Mockingjay P2.
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Why did Cersei Lannister sent princess Myrcella to Dorne?
She knew her family history a little too well. Myrcella had two brothers.
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Why are you putting the saddle on backward ?
Brother: How do you know which way I'm going
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What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?
His brother with the DVR
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Why did the monster stop playing with his brother?
He got tired of kicking him around.
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How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?
my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.
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What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V?
His brother holding the VCR.
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What do you love most in the world?
Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh
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What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A virgin
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What do you call a wheel with clothes?
Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.
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What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?
Missile Toe!
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What did the token black guy say to the other black guy who walks in the party?
Hey man ! Who do you know here ? This is a Brothers only party !
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Why can't you be successful like your brother?
Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes
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What did a black twin called his brother before they're born?
Inmates
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Why did the brother octopi look so alike?
They were itentacle twins.
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Why don't many Greek men move to other countries?
They don't want to leave their brothers behind
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What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?
I drew drew
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What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V?
A: His brother running with the V.C.R
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Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?
Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!
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Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?
The specific ocean.
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What's Cain's favorite genre of music?
Rock, I hear his brother hates it though.
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How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?
She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."
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Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?
Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother :D
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Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ?
Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !