Brother Jokes

  • What did the chemist say when he caught his brother stealing halogens?

    Bro, mine

  • How do I tell them apart?

    Her brother has a moustache.

  • What do you call DJ Khaled crossdressing as Hulk Hogan?

    A "brother" one."

  • How can you tell a redneck girl is a virgin?

    She can run faster than her brother.

  • Why so glum Chum?

    asked the kindly stranger. "If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister "

  • What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?

    Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.

  • What's faster than a black man dodging cops with a TV?

    His brother with the laptop.

  • How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin?

    See if she can run faster than her brothers.

  • What's a priest on an egg called?

    A brother

  • Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield?

    They didn't want to leave their brothers behind.

  • Why 21 didn't invite his brother for dinner?


  • What do the Unabomber and a girl from Alabama have in common?

    They were both fingered by their brother.

  • How do pirates get their hair to stand up?

    Sea-men. My brother told me that

  • Why don't robots have any brothers anymore?

    Because they have trans-sisters.

  • What do rednecks say after they broke up?

    We can still be brother and sister.

  • Why don't computers have any brothers?

    They are all trans-sisters.

  • How many are you?

    We are three. - Three - Me and my brother. - You have a brother - No why do you ask

  • What do you call an Alabama woman who can run faster than her brother?


  • Why did Elvis' mom get mad when people called him "Elvis the pelvis"?

    Because he had a brother named Enos.

  • Why does your brother wear a life jacket in bed?

    Because he sleeps on a waterbed !

  • What position does your brother play in the school football team ?

    Jay: I think he's one of the drawbacks !

  • What is faster than a black person with your TV ?

    His brother with your DVD player.

  • What is Putin to Ukraina, a friend or a brother ?

    A brother, because you can choose your friends.

  • What's the definition of a redneck virgin?

    A 7 year-old girl who can run faster than her brothers.

  • What do they call a virgin down in the south?

    Faster than her brother!

  • Why don't robots have brothers?

    Because they all have trans-sisters

  • Why was the animal unhappy?

    He had a ruff week.. His life wasn't purrfect. His brother was a shellout. His mother's been a real crab lately. His family was really shellfish. He had no porpoise in life.

  • What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him?


  • What two friends belonging to two different alien species call each other?

    Brothers from Another Mothership.

  • What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers?

    A virgin.

  • How did Mario bring back his brother after he got a Game Over?

    He used a Luigi Board.

  • What does a Duggar girl and the Unabomber have in common?

    They have both been fingered by their brother.

  • What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?


  • What animal will you always see at a resturant?

    A DINE-O-SAUR. I think my brother is a future stand-up comic.

  • Why did your brother give up his job in the biscuit factory?

    Because he went crackers.

  • What did the mexican boy say to his mom after he mopped the floors and found his brother?

    I've cleaned up and found Jesus.

  • What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him?

    Get off me, homes!" My brother heard this on Tosh.

  • What would Mario's name be if he was born in Canada?

    Sorry-o And his brother: Luig-eh?

  • What do you call three brothers taking acid together?


  • Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

    Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

  • Why don't robots have any brothers?

    They all have transisters.

  • How do you know God isn't black?

    Because it's not "I is who I is" My brother is 35...

  • What do you call a white girl that runs faster than her brothers?

    A redneck virgin

  • What is a Redneck virgin?

    A 7-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!

  • Why Cant Coffee Shops Spell Correctly?

    When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, Marc, with a C. Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.

  • What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend?

    When she says she thinks of you like a brother.

  • Which is farther away- NY City or the moon?

    Sister: NY City. Why do ask Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City.

  • What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

    You're my brother in arms!"

  • Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

    He can never find the Loki.

  • What do my brother and Julius Caesar have in common?

    They both hate been stabbed

  • Why is your brother always flying off the handle ?

    Second Boy: Because he's got a screw loose !

  • Where's Finnick?

    Odair he is! Obligatory: My brother told this to me while watching Mockingjay P2.

  • Why did Cersei Lannister sent princess Myrcella to Dorne?

    She knew her family history a little too well. Myrcella had two brothers.

  • Why are you putting the saddle on backward ?

    Brother: How do you know which way I'm going

  • What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?

    His brother with the DVR

  • Why did the monster stop playing with his brother?

    He got tired of kicking him around.

  • How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

    my brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

  • What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V?

    His brother holding the VCR.

  • What do you love most in the world?

    Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh

  • What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?

    A virgin

  • What do you call a wheel with clothes?

    Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

  • What is the Taliban's favorite holiday footwear?

    Missile Toe!

  • What did the token black guy say to the other black guy who walks in the party?

    Hey man ! Who do you know here ? This is a Brothers only party !

  • Why can't you be successful like your brother?

    Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes

  • What did a black twin called his brother before they're born?


  • Why did the brother octopi look so alike?

    They were itentacle twins.

  • Why don't many Greek men move to other countries?

    They don't want to leave their brothers behind

  • What did the painter say after finishing a portrait of his brother Andrew?

    I drew drew

  • What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V?

    A: His brother running with the V.C.R

  • Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

    Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

  • Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

    The specific ocean.

  • What's Cain's favorite genre of music?

    Rock, I hear his brother hates it though.

  • How do you tell if a girl in Nebraska is a virgin?

    She can outrun her brothers... *mic drop* "I'm out..."

  • Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

    Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother :D

  • Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ?

    Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !