Good Jokes
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What is the best part of a Jonestown joke?
The punchline
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What's the best part about TCP jokes?
I get to keep telling them until you get them.
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What does a gynocologist and a pizza man have in common?
Thay can smell the goods, but they can't taste them.
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What's the best part of having a kid?
The chewy center.
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What's the best part about twenty two year old wheels of cheese?
There are twenty of them.
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What's the best part of running a marathon?
Ha! You actually thought I ran a marathon! Jokes on you, I'm just drunk!
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How do you tell a good monster from a bad one?
If it's a good one you will be able to talk about it later!
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What's the best part about getting a puppy?
Getting new shoes every week.
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What's the best part about dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere!!
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What's the best part about showering with a 7 year old girl?
You slick their hair back and you've got a 7 year old boy.
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What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z?
Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!
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What's the best part of living in Alabama?
You don't live in Mississippi.
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What's the best part of two lesbians marrying?
Two cooks in the house.
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Why do successful lettuce farmers always get women?
Because everyone knows they give good *head*.
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What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?
Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!
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What's the best part about living in Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus
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What's the best part about being a mute?
It goes without saying...
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What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?
Have a good one, son."
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What's the best part about dating a homeless chick?
You can drop her off wherever.
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Why do crows do vocal exercises every morning?
For the Good of the Caws.
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What's the best name for an atheist?
Godfrey
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What's the best part about sleeping with twenty five year olds?
There's twenty of them.
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Why are ophans no good at baseball?
They dont know where home is.
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What's the best part about Subway sandwiches?
the tiny little buns
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What's the best part of twenty eight year old chicks?
There's twenty of them.
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How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant ?
When you ask them "2+2 is ?":
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Whats the best part about living in Switzerland?
Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
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What's the best part about abortions?
They never get old
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What's the best part of a redneck brothel?
The family discount
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What's the best part about dating twenty two year olds?
There are 20 of them.
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What's the best part of a woman?
between 18 and 24 yrs
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What's the best part of a pregnancy joke?
The delivery.
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What's the best part about getting head from an infant?
Watching the soft spot move.
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What's the best side of the house to build a deck on?
The outside
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What's the best part about going to a holocaust museum?
Free fap material
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What's the best part about dating a terminally ill cancer patient?
They are their own birth control
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What's the best part about gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
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What's the best part of Chinese food?
The 4/10 cookie
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What's the best part of an asynchronous dog?
It's non barking! Hopefully some software people get this one
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What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl?
If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!
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Why did the painter from Boston have trouble making friends?
He was way too autistic for his own good.
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What is the best part about duct tape?
It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"
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What would be a good name for my daughter who is a synth?
Synthia
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What is the best part of an ISIS joke?
The execution.
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What do they have in common ?
Both of them can sniff "the goods" but no one can touch !
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Why wasn't Boy George any good at English?
because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.
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What's the best part of Christmas for Santa Clause?
He knows where all the naughty girls live #*( )*
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Whats the best part of living in Switzerland?
Im not too sure either but the flags a big plus.
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What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder?
Banging your best friend's wife every night!
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What's the best part about a Fight Club joke?
The punchline.
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What is the best part about taking a shower?
Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.
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What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris?
Free Shots
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What's the best part about being cremated?
Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.
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What's the best part about bangin' twenty six year olds?
You get to meet Jared Fogel.
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What's the good part about having alzheimer's?
You can hide your own easter eggs.
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What's the best part of a baker's body?
Their buns.
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What's the best part about living in Flint, Michigan?
Leaded gasoline is pretty cheep!
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Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?
Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.
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What's the best part of divorce?
Two Kwanzaas
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What's the best part about having a blind partner?
You know they won't be seeing other people.
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What's the best part about marrying a farmer?
You get to grow old together.
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What's the best part about being an orphan?
All your chips and candy bars are family sized.
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What's the best part about twenty eight year olds?
There's twenty of them.
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What is the best name for an acrobat?
Phillip
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What's the best part about dating a homeless women?
You can drop her off anywhere.
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What's the best part about dating 26 year olds?
There's twenty of them.
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Why do black's have white skin on the bottom of their feet and the palm of their hands?
Everyone needs a little bit of good inside them.
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What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships ?
You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.
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What's the best part of dating 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them!
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What's the best part of being an abortion doctor?
The free lunch.
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What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?
Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.
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What's the best part of dating 29 year olds?
There's 20 of them. (More funny out loud)
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What's the best part of having kids?
Making them.
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What was the best part about Narcos Season 2?
SPOILERS Tata, Pablo Escobar
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What's the best part about child molestation jokes?
You don't understand it until you're older!
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What's the best part about living in a black family?
You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost
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What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?
They wash themselves.
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What's the best part about dating a homeless chick ?
You can drop her off anywhere
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What's the best part of having Alzheimer's?
You get to meet new people everyday!
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What's the best part of a movie?
The climax.
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What's the best part about dating a twin?
Nobody can judge you on your age difference.
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What's the best part about taking a shower with an 11 year old girl?
If you slick her hair back, she looks like an 8 year old boy.
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What's the best part about sleeping with a Cubs fan?
They're used to disappointment.
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What's the best part about golf?
It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.
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What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online?
Papal
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What's the best part about locking your keys in the car at an abortion clinic?
Plenty of coat hangers.
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What's the best part of a boxer's joke?
The punch line Found in BL magazine
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What's the best part of growing up in Compton?
No bad dad jokes.
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What is the best part of Pokemon Go?
I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.
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What's the best part of split-pea soup?
The cut up peaness.
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Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents?
Cos it's tear-able.
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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?
Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.
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What's the best part about being a meth addict?
3 sleeps 'til Christmas
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Why do black people have white palms?
There is little bit of good in all of us. p.s. not racist, my shadow is black.
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Whats the best part about dating a black girl?
You rarely have to meet their dad.
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Why doesn't the Kentucky Fried Chicken use toilet paper?
It's finger licking good.
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What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner?
Unlimited twerky
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What's the best part of an ISIS joke?
The Execution. Hehe...get it? No? Fine I'll be-heading off now.
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What's the best name for a cigarette company?
TOBA Co
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Why are volcanoes mischievous?
Because they erupt to no good.
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What is the best part of the camp?
One wise guy answered 'Going home!'
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What's the best part of being a necrophiliac?
In the bedroom, it doesn't take much effort to make your lover's jaw drop.
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What's the best part about showering with an eight year old girl?
Slicking her hair back and making her look like a six year old boy.
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What's the best part about banging twenty two year olds?
There's twenty of them.
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Why did the cannibal go to KFC?
He heard it was finger licking good.
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What's the best part about Switzerland?
I don't know, but their flag's a plus.
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What is the best part of having Alzheimer's?
Youre always meeting new people.
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What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?
The water washes away her tears
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What's a good name for a cat?
Catsper.
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Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget?
You're sure to get a little head
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What's the best part about banging Jessica Alba?
You'll know if she was faking it.