Text Jokes

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

11oz Ceramic Mug For Men - Gifts For Dad - Dad Joke Birthday Gifts for Dad From Daughter Son - Fathers Day Gift From Daughter Son Wife - Christmas Gifts For Dad Funny Gifts For Men Dad Gifts
4.7

Ceramic

Available on Amazon

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

What do you call a dark or melancholy verse of text?

Poe-etry

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

How do you troll someone?

Make them wipe their screen because they think text is a smudge.

What is ISIS's favorite type of text?

Is the answer: A: Heading B: Heading C: Heading

What method did SFML perform when the Human lost to the AI?

Text.GetRect()

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Why does a billionaire need a Bat signal?

He is in a cave. How does he even see the signal Why won't you just text him

Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One liners for kids: Kids Joke books ages 7-9 8-12
4.7

Paperback

Available on Amazon

Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?

Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

for 2 weeks.

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

What's the difference between a Surrey girl and a washing machine?

When you drop a load in a washing machine it doesn't text you every hour for a week.

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

What is it with people who text and drive?

I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.

What's worse?

Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Dad Jokes for New Dads: The Ultimate New Dad Gift to Embarrass Your Kids Early with 500+ Jokes! (World's Best Dad Jokes Collection)
4.7

Paperback

Available on Amazon

Why does it take you forever to text me back?

3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about

Why didn't you text me?

I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.

What state has the highest cell phone bills?

A: Text-us

You might also enjoy:

10 Second Jokes More 10 Second Jokes

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

What's the difference between YouTube and Redtube?

My YouTube experience lasts longer than 10 seconds.

Tri Jokes More Tri Jokes

What do you call a cow on no legs?

Ground beef. What do you call a cow on three legs Tri-Tip. What do you call a cow on two legs Your mom.

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What dies a little, when explained about?

A joke.

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

Downvote Jokes More Downvote Jokes

How man redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One to change it and nine to downvote for no reason.

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What would have to break to give you 18?

a condom

What did the redneck say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

Its ok, we can still be cousins."

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

What belongs to me but is used the most by others?

My ex-wife

Genesis Jokes More Genesis Jokes

What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song?

Land of Cold-Fusion".

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.