What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?

He liked to chop and change !

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

What did the drunken Irishman say to the Chinese diplomat?

http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/whatdidthedrunkenirishmansaytothechinese/

What do you call an Irishman who's had eight beers?

The designated driver.

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

When a guy texts "your beautiful," reply with "my beautiful what?

then laugh and laugh and never talk to that nice idiot again.

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

Message Jokes More Message Jokes

How do wasps send messages?

By bee-mail.

How does a farmer send messages?

By e-i-e-i-o-mail.

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

What do you call someone with no legs?

30 a week poorer.

How did Helen Keller break her hands?

Reading road signs at 30 MPH

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

What does a bee do with his stinger at night?

Put it in his honey.

What does a man with no honey do?

He cantaloupe.

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What do you call a pub for lesbians in circus outfits?

A Clown-Dyke-Bar Credit to

What do you call Irish sunscreen?

A pub.

Lad Jokes More Lad Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?