What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Previous Random Joke Next
Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How would you write do not touch in Braile?

A. With copper wire and strong electric current. (read it in a shower thoughts thread)

How does a Russian Aeroflot pilot navigate?

By reading street signs.

Irishman Jokes More Irishman Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his bean soup?

Because one more would be too farty

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What happens when you text while driving?

I don't know, I've never tri

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

Message Jokes More Message Jokes

What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message?

To e or not to e that is the question.

How do wasps send messages?

By bee-mail.

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

How many Chiropractors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, but they'll take 30 visits to do it.

Honey Jokes More Honey Jokes

Where does a bee put its stinger?

In its honey

Why do bees sting?

They can't bite because all that honey rotted their teeth. (From my 7 year old niece)

Pint Jokes More Pint Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub?

A barredvark!

Why did the Irish man never get caught drink driving?

Because he never left the pub.

Lad Jokes More Lad Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What did Saint Patrick say as he drove the snakes out of Ireland?

Are ye alright in the back there lads?