How did Helen Keller lose her arm?

Trying to read the road signs!!!

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

How much for this toaster?

An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers " "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars

How does an octopus go to war?

Well-Armed

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

What do you think about the coming battle General?

God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it - To find out who is the loser.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

What's red, white, and full of holes?

Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!"

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?

She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a cliff?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Road Sign Jokes More Road Sign Jokes

How did Helen Keller break her arm?

She broke it trying to read the road signs.

How did Helen Keller break her hands?

Reading road signs at 30 MPH