How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happens when you put the Energizer bunny's batteries in backwards?

It keeps coming, and coming, and coming...

What do you call a Mexican melon?

A cantelopez! Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What is the best thing to take when you're run over?

The number of the car that hit you.

What to you call Batman and Robin after they've been run over by a car?

A: Flatman and Ribbon

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What did the Amish IT guy say about the computer?

It was a bit buggy.

Whats the difference between a woman and a computer?

A woman doesn't accept 3 1/2 inch floppies

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What does the emperor have when he goes for a sunday drive?

he has Divine Right of way

Why are your eyes red?

Are you high! flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over me: Yes

School Jokes More School Jokes

How does a communist do well in school?

He gets good marx.

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

Pain Jokes More Pain Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?

One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

What do mathematicians drink?

Anything to ease the pain.

Measure Jokes More Measure Jokes

Why do rappers make bad carpenters?

Because they measure 5.5 to 6 inches as 8 to 13 inches.

Why are you prodding me with that ruler?

Im measuring your patience"