What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

What is the outside of a tree called?

Student:I don't know. Teacher: Bark, my child, bark. Student: Bow, wow, wow.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

What does a 1 eyed, 1 legged, and deaf kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What does Brown Santa say?

Gifts only for little girls with A's, B's and C's because the other ones already have the D's."

What should you not gift a Syrian this year?

A drone

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop. I'll show myself out.

What's the worst thing to hear during a prostate exam?

Look! No hands!

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?

He wanted to see how long he slept.

What boy doesn't love milkshakes?

If your asparagus brought em, then I'd be impressed.