What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

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Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

How do apply for a job at the NSA?

You make a private phone call to anyone else, and submit your application.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did the doctor say to the prosecutor?

You're trying my patients!

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of plant can you use to make phone calls?

A telefern

What type of wind is named after a young deer?

Foehn

Envelope Jokes More Envelope Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!"

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

How about some snappy one-liners?

Ironically, the only way you could get me to watch 50 shades of gray is if you tied me up and forced me to watch it.

What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert?

He was forced to resort to excessive violins.

Accelerate Jokes More Accelerate Jokes

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

A: 9.81 m/s2

Object Jokes More Object Jokes

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

Remain Jokes More Remain Jokes

What's left of a garden after it catches on fire?

Chard remains.

99.9% of the people are dumb!

Fortunately I belong to the remaining 1%