What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

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What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

What is loud and sounds like "apple"?

scream) APPLE!!!

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What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What do WNBA players make?

Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

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What is that thing, which the maker cannot use, and the user cannot see?

Coffin

What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?

Well, both carry stiffs, but one's for coming and the other's for going.

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What's George Washington's favorite element?

Americium-1776

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.