Concert Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl band in the concert?

Because the P is silent

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

Paperback

What did Chad Kroeger say after leaving a concert of Justin Bieber?

I want my Nickleback....

Which rock band always wash their hands before a concert?

OCDC

What concert costs 45 cents?

A concert that costs 45 cents.

What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert?

A Standing Blow-vation.

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

What do you get when you go to a concert in Paris?

Shot.

Why don't they have a concert on the moon?

No atmosphere

Why did the rockstar turkey get kicked out of the concert?

Because he tryptophan.

Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?

Because the C-section is always messy.

What concert is worth 45 cents?

50 cent with Nickelback

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

Paperback

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the concert?

He had no body to go with.

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

What's the best part about going to a concert in Paris?

Free Shots

Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

What concert can you go to for 45 cents?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a man?

A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.

How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did Sally the Sloth sleep in all day?

Because her crippling depression leaves her unable to function properly.

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

Atmosphere Jokes More Atmosphere Jokes

Why don't they have a concert on the moon?

No atmosphere

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

They barely had any atmosphere.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Where can a hand refuel its car?

At a fist pump.

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What joke has sebadoh for a punch line?

A joke about what kind of dough does an italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery.

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

Obgyn Jokes More Obgyn Jokes

Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?

Because the C-section is always messy.

Why did Hillary go to the OB/GYN?

She was feelin' the Bern!

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

because he wasn't a fungi!

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.

C Section Jokes More C Section Jokes

Why can't an orchestra made of OB/GYN doctors ever get good enough to perform a concert?

Because the C-section is always messy.

What do you call a baby born feet first?

a c-section.